No, I have not decided to swing, at least not yet🙂 I’m going to preface this Tale with a little personal insight, otherwise it may seem well a little lame.
Recently coming out of an ugly break up, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and reflection. My mind will be on work one minute, and then all of a sudden, I get flashbacks of me in the Sahara, wearing a burka and drinking mint tea during sunset – higher than a kite on life instead of my usual vodka redbulls in Vancouver. Ever wonder about your life path and decisions? I have been doing a lot of this lately.
Being freshly single I could go one of two ways. I could turn into a raging slut and have a lot of fun or I can focus on me and be somewhat of a hermit. Right now I’m balancing between the two options, carefully weighing out my decision. Do I want flashbacks of meaningless but fun sex when I’m eighty? Or do I want to remember my prime years pining over some weak man who couldn’t get it together? Pretty sure I know which option I’d regret. Until what age are drunk nights at a bar a few times a week appropriate? Is there an age limit to this? Does it depend on whether we are also making steps towards our future during other times? I’m not going to lie, I judged my ex for his Roxy going ways. Oh the fights we had over the “having fun versus being ambitious” scale. Questions I’m sure we all have and all have to answer independently. Balance and choice are tricky topics. If only they had wine and bar stools in the Sahara, I’m sure I would have stayed.
So this Tale is about me getting my mojo back. It’s about going out as a single girl again after a year of not, hitting the bars, meeting men – all while feeling pretty sad and insecure on the inside and quite frankly, wanting to cry a little into my Merlot.
We started off at The Charles Bar, a new bar in the Woodwards development in Gastown. The restaurant itself is nothing special and has a low key atmosphere. The menu is okay if you like poutine and the servers are b-grade. However, it was opening weekend and we had heard that Ryan Reynolds was there the night before. Who isn’t a sucker for his boyish good looks and abs?
I was out with SA and my good friend Mia. Mia is also recently single and we’ve been supporting each other through the “be strong, they suck” phases. As you do. The three of us plonked down at the bar and promptly ordered some wine. We were all fairly tired and definitely needed a good low-key girls night out.
I’m pretty sure the three of us poured our souls out to each other over the course of three hours. There is really nothing like good friends in this world. I often contemplate and dream of leaving Vancouver and making my home in other cities. Living here my whole life definitely makes me stir crazy. But friends and family make this city my home.
After our therapy session… I mean, conversation, we were three glasses of wine in and I was feeling a little perkier. I had noticed that our bartender seemed like a nice guy and since I am one guy down in my life, thought maybe I should start with more men as friends. Yes, I needed some manfriends. I’m sorry girls, but it is also great to get a testicular opinion once in a while and nothing quite beats a good manly hug.
So I boldly asked our bartender if he would like to be my friend, my manfriend. He flashed me a killer smile and said he would willingly apply for that position. I handed him my iphone and a minute later had his number. Who knew it could be that easy? Although it did occur to me later that I knew nothing about this man and, being a busy girl, I will have to try and prioritize my men going forward.
After spending our early hours with Charles, we headed over to a friend’s birthday party at the Century House. I personally love this venue. If you ever want a nice, private, low key party this is the place to rent out. Historic charm meets Latin warmth.
It was Krista’s big 3-0 and by the time we showed up, her crew was in full swing. Krista’s not a close friend, I met her playing poker one night and really liked her vibe. That being said, I’m guessing the feeling was mutual as I got the invite to her party. Scanning the crowd, the three of us knew no one else, which doesn’t happen that often in this small city.
I headed towards the bar and ordered my signature Singapore Sling. After providing the bartender with the list of ingredients (I should market this drink), I was off to make some new man friends. Quickly spying a wandering eye my way, I smiled and motioned with my index finger (classic come hither move) for the ogling man to come over. This, my lady friends, has never failed me and is an easy move for those of you starting out on the “make new man friend” path.
Greg turned out to be a nice guy: good career, fairly good looking, but definitely not rebound material since he was looking for a relationship. X off my list, but I brought him over to SA and Mia, who may want to become emotionally available. I quickly departed that threesome on the search for new friends. I briefly came across the cutest newlyweds and did my best to tell them they were the cutest couple ever. I actually meant it, they were. I remember them saying that life had just started after they met. Gawd, I wonder what it’s like to be a newborn again, think about how much more trouble I would want to get into. Okay, I suppose that wasn’t their point.
After a few more cocktails at Century we headed to Opus to check out their new 100 Days concept. I was a bit disappointed and still prefer the Keefer for decor and ambiance; however, Kwesi, their lovely doorman assured me that their menu was great and, well, he’s always a charm to flirt with.
My Lessons from a Bar Stool:
Lessons for the ladies:
1. Nothing replaces a good girlfriend. Try your hardest not to lose touch.
2. Be lighthearted. No one is worth wasting your time being upset over.
3. Surround yourself with people who make you a stronger, happier, better person. Let go of those who stand in your way of these three qualities.
Lessons for the men:
1. Do approach girls deep in conversation, even we need breaks from our very important topics.
2. Have dreams and goals, nothing is more unattractive than a playboy wannabe. Don’t end up a washed up an old man at the Roxy. All females are silently mocking and avoiding those men.
3. It’s important to have a balance of both male and female friends. Too much of one or the other, probably isn’t a good thing.
This is a song/video I stumbled across that I love. It reminds me of how important people are in your life and how connected we are.